I had a great weekend. WOO, let me tell you it was a blast. First off let’s set the scene, gloomy and rainy, I’m not talking a little spring shower. but an honest to goodness torrential down-pour. Usually I enjoy a good dark and rainy day, but it started hailing so I had to run out in this mess and cover my car up. Needless to say being outside for a minute equated itself to jumping head first and fully clothed into a swimming pool.

Once the rain stopped I got the cover off of my car and was on my way to take it down to the laundry room when I slipped on the top step, hit the landing with my back and proceeded to slide down the stairs like a frick’n toboggan. After a loud crash and much yelling—from me and Ivy who’d thought I was dying and would be found lying in a pool of gore—I managed to get up and hobble to my bed for a much needed nap.

Later on Ivy and I decided to go to the cinema. Despite being a little sore I pressed on and we saw In the Land of Women. It was a actually a real good flick. Not so much a romantic smoochy movie that I figured it would be. Funny in parts, serious in others, all in all a good film.

That’s hardly the point though is it. When I go to the theater I already feel a little raw from the pounding I took at the ticket counter and the snack bar, so I am in no mood for shite once I sit down. Since it was my lucky day and all a couple of kids—yes I am 80 years old—sat down behind us and proceeded to talk, through the entire movie. After the girl’s mom called twice I was more than a little annoyed.

I am very proud of myself though because I’ve never done this before, but today I did. I turned around, made eye contact with the little buggers and asked them ever so politely if they would mind taking their conversation outside. Now I thought their little eyes were going to pop right out of their heads, because they got huge. I can’t remember if they nodded yes or no, the only thing that matters is that they shut the hell up for the remainder of the movie.

So, here is my advice for you. If some little snot-wipe is ruining your cinematic experience with their yap-yap-yap you are completely justified in setting them straight by any means necessary.

Of course directly after I had my moment of revenge the ceiling started leaking over the seat next to Ivy. Go figure.

Sunday I took it easy, while no longer in agony I still didn’t want to push it. I painted the kick boards going upstairs and finished watching Pulp Fiction. It was while eating dinner that Ivy noticed a spot on the kitchen ceiling. Yup, you guessed it, the heavy rains found their way into my house via the side of my chimney. After dinner I ventured up onto the roof—not my favorite place to be—and checked out the situation.

It seems that I need to re-flash my chimney in addition to a couple other things. I believe I’m up for the task. So, I shall keep everyone posted on how that project goes.