Today is one of those days that teeters along the cusp of average and the gateway to hell. It’s one of those days where you can only manage to get half of your morning rituals accomplished despite having plenty of time. It’s not a great day, but it could most definitely get a lot worse.

This realization hit like so many revelations do, whilst I was visiting the w/c. It was while walking in that I noticed I had apparently forgotten to shave my sweater, because it’s fuzzy five o’clock shadow is grizzlier than my own. It was also during this moment that I noticed I’d forgotten my belt, which is not a tragedy so long as I don’t have to run. This equation might help illustrate what I’m suggesting, white boy+flat ass-belt=pankles.